Liar, Liar
The Holidays are here. And for me, that means a snowball of a story that I can barely keep up with anymore. Don't get ahead of yourself....I can assure you that the lie you think I'm talking about- isn't it. "If you don't believe, you don't receive" still resonates with this gal, and I still get gifts from the Jolly guy to this day.
The lie I'm speaking of started some 8 years ago, as a way to place myself on a pedestal as a Mama to a boy. It was one of those stories that started out in fun- like the time I told my Mom that 2 of my best friends were Jewish. (and like that story, I should have known how a little lie can snowball). After all, it was 5 years of Menorahs, Dreidels, Yamakas, & Hanukkah cards before we FINALLY told her that they were actually Methodist.
This tiny fib was just supposed to help elevate me (and all women for that matter) as "Queens" in this cold world, yet it continued to snowball as we added more boys to this household. What I didn't initially realize, was that the pedestal I had placed myself on, could literally not be upheld by any member of the royal family, or even the Pope himself.
The hubs has been telling me for years that I have created this false identity of women, and that it's going to cause our boys to need therapy later in life. That I am giving them a "false sense" of what a woman "really is" & that no real woman is every going to measure up. I can assure you, that he will actually thank me later when our boys expect nothing less than 100% from a woman!
Adding a girl to this testosterone pot has really put a kink in my story. After all, how can I continue telling my boys that "Ladies only do pooties twice a year - Thanksgiving & Christmas" when I have a little tiny fart machine as a daughter!? That's right, I admit it... I have told my boys a story for years, and I am slowly watching it unravel. This sad attempt at holding myself at a higher standard to keep from getting sucked in to a stank world of little boys, their fathers, and all things gas.
I actually added to the story and told them baby girls couldn't help it yet, but as they grew their "pooties" would get less and less.....but lets be honest, in this house, this poor girl hasn't gotten a chance & she's probably going to be just as gross & stinky as her brothers.
The drama I had created finally hit me last week. The floor creaked as I was sitting on the bar stool. Ellis looked at me with such excitement and said "Was that you?!". With sheer disgust I responded with "NO!" and he replied "Well, it is almost Thanksgiving, so I've been waiting for it....". I kid you not. This is what I have done to myself. I have my kids looking forward to the holidays- not for their true meaning, but for the hope that they can catch their Mom in one of her bi annual pooties!
Its not the other girls I've set up for failure- it's myself! I'm walking that fine line for another month, and the hopefully, I can buy myself some time to prepare for what direction I need to head with this snowball......pray for me, y'all.
The lie I'm speaking of started some 8 years ago, as a way to place myself on a pedestal as a Mama to a boy. It was one of those stories that started out in fun- like the time I told my Mom that 2 of my best friends were Jewish. (and like that story, I should have known how a little lie can snowball). After all, it was 5 years of Menorahs, Dreidels, Yamakas, & Hanukkah cards before we FINALLY told her that they were actually Methodist.
This tiny fib was just supposed to help elevate me (and all women for that matter) as "Queens" in this cold world, yet it continued to snowball as we added more boys to this household. What I didn't initially realize, was that the pedestal I had placed myself on, could literally not be upheld by any member of the royal family, or even the Pope himself.
The hubs has been telling me for years that I have created this false identity of women, and that it's going to cause our boys to need therapy later in life. That I am giving them a "false sense" of what a woman "really is" & that no real woman is every going to measure up. I can assure you, that he will actually thank me later when our boys expect nothing less than 100% from a woman!
Adding a girl to this testosterone pot has really put a kink in my story. After all, how can I continue telling my boys that "Ladies only do pooties twice a year - Thanksgiving & Christmas" when I have a little tiny fart machine as a daughter!? That's right, I admit it... I have told my boys a story for years, and I am slowly watching it unravel. This sad attempt at holding myself at a higher standard to keep from getting sucked in to a stank world of little boys, their fathers, and all things gas.
I actually added to the story and told them baby girls couldn't help it yet, but as they grew their "pooties" would get less and less.....but lets be honest, in this house, this poor girl hasn't gotten a chance & she's probably going to be just as gross & stinky as her brothers.
The drama I had created finally hit me last week. The floor creaked as I was sitting on the bar stool. Ellis looked at me with such excitement and said "Was that you?!". With sheer disgust I responded with "NO!" and he replied "Well, it is almost Thanksgiving, so I've been waiting for it....". I kid you not. This is what I have done to myself. I have my kids looking forward to the holidays- not for their true meaning, but for the hope that they can catch their Mom in one of her bi annual pooties!
Its not the other girls I've set up for failure- it's myself! I'm walking that fine line for another month, and the hopefully, I can buy myself some time to prepare for what direction I need to head with this snowball......pray for me, y'all.
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